My girl's got trust issues!

Got you there, didn't I?
Of course some of you, especially those of you who I've been having drinking sessions with this summer, probably didn't fall for that. But then, that's not really the point. Because it's not just about this girl. It's not just about me. It's about all of us with trust issues.

Why do some people find it so hard to trust? This question came to me one Saturday afternoon while having some nachos and lemon and honey green tea with a friend in one of the cafes here in the awesome city of Baguio. Somehow, in the course of our lengthy but substantial conversation, we got to the discussion about my friend's, ahem, love life...or wait...should I say lack of it. You see, just like a lot of people out there, including me , my friend seems to have this idea that people out there are coming on to her just so they could break her heart in the future. That's just so almost neurotic, right? As a result, she got this tendency to reject guys even before she can really get to know them. Again, this is sad, and it worries her. I mean after all, what if the right guy came and she decides: "Wait a minute: now that I think about it, I'm sure you'll turn out to be an absolute loser. So…yeah…go away." Now, the thing is, my friend may have just done that.

Before going any further, and before you think of this stupid idea: no, I am not using my friend as a symbolization for me. She's real, but try as you might, you will never know who she is.
Okay, back to the story. So being the constant opinion-puker (Haha! I so invented that term!) that I am, of course she expected to hear something from me. And what can I say? I don't have stories like hers. So I was thinking…thinking real hard...until I finally came up with an answer which may be an explanation for my own situation. It seems as if that we, in our separate lives, are surrounded by so many people with such sour relationships. Both of us have to deal with our friends' stories about how miserable their lives are with their partner or whoever; like some got cheating boyfriends, or user girlfriends, or this or that, etc. The concept of a relationship just seems so scary because of all the risk and tragedy and pain that has been associated with it! And that is what I say is an absolute adulteration of the concept.

As listeners to these horror stories about relationships, there's a great chance that we have been sucked into this vortex of misunderstanding that being in a relationship is hell. I guess this entire process occurs subconsciously; you're not really aware of it, because at first, you think that you're just listening to someone else's love problem. What you don't realize is that: "Hey, this can never happen to me." And so, the things that you wish "would never happen" to you just build up, and so in the end, you don't even want to take that risk. It’s not surprise then that you build these walls and drive everyone away and pretty much take on all pre-emptive measures to make sure that such heartbreak will never have to happen to you.

So the next time you sob to a best friend who's single about love woes, or whine to someone who's not in a relationship about you and your partner’s doom, just give it a thought before you decide to go overboard with the drama.

Sigh.

Yes, she's real, but right now, I'm not sure who I'm talking about.