Whew! Just when I was beginning another pattern of a non-productive behavior which basically involves not finishing or continuing something that I've started (i.e. ditching my blog, haha!), I've decided that hey, maybe I don't want to be stuck doing the wrong things anymore! I mean right now, I'm at that point where one more mistake, one more misstep may mean diasaster, or maybe absolute liberation and freedom (Haha! Well depending on how you look at it...Anyway I'm sure you're not getting that probably because it's a purely personal issue.). Really, now is when I can really say it's either a make it or break it situation. And as I've said, I want to put an end to all the negative things that aren't really helping me "make it." See, the difficult part is translating the attitude into the right behavior or actions. Sure, I really want to kick some serious law ass, but then, thinking that can only get me so far...or as I've learned yesterday, even nowhere!
Obviously I'm not at the peak of my academic career right now.
Now THAT is undermining the scenario which is actually far worse.
But then, I can't really blame myself for such a sloppy school week. Well for one, moving my stuff is so exhausting! Just last week, I officially moved from my previous place of temporary residence in Tandang Sora to one of the dorms within UP. It's great that I'm finally in UP now right? But then, moving was't so easy especially when you find out that, once you've moved in, certain essentials of living are missing. Imagine life with no chairs, no pillows, and no cabinets: I had to live with that for one night! Well I got the chair and the pillow now (after what seemed like a never-ending ordeal of having to shop for these big bulky things in SM), but I'm still waiting for the cabinet!
Still, it's great that I'm finally housed within UP. Although moving proved to be a serious pain in the ass, I'm sure the returns in the long run will be worth it. Besides, it's a great dorm, especially when compared to all other dorms in UP.
So...what was I saying?
Oh, being messy and all that. See that's what Im talking about. I really think that I need to get myself together, otherwise, it would be just one big...pfft. Haha! But seriously, there are just some things that I'm realizing right now that would make me feel really guilty if I INTENTIONALLY or NEGLIGENTLY do some major mess right now. And I really don't want to go through all that drama. The challenge for me right now is to make this real, actually start working on it. I don't want to be paranoid and think that the odds are against me, but thinking that would hopefully help propel me into doing the right things. And now that I've pretty much established myself in that dorm, I hope that this move would help maybe tilt the playing field in my favor.
I know it seems like I'm ranting and whining, but writing and letting it out is actually one way of how I can reflect on it and hopefully do some serious thinking AND acting about whatever situation I am in. Law school continuosuly proves itself to be a challenge to all aspects of a person's being: intellectual, emotional, psychological, even physical! And right now, I would indulge in all possible means of catharsis just to brush it off!
Of course, there's also: WORK, WORK, WORK.
I just don't want it to be such a mess anymore.
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